


The Dyad

by Flecha77



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Reylo - Freeform, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:01:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21933412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flecha77/pseuds/Flecha77
Summary: What if Ben Solo didn’t die at the end of Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker? What if Rey could find a way for them both to live?This is that story.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 43
Kudos: 155





	1. Chapter 1

As soon as his head fell back against the pavement Rey felt a far worse pain than death. Agony, loss, desperation. She could no longer sense his presence in the force like she had her entire life. Her dyad in the force was gone. Ben was dead. 

Rey grabbed the back of his neck and screamed. It was the only reaction she could muster. The strain of battle was still coursing through her veins. The shock of her brief death still haunted her. The tingle of his lips on hers still lingered. 

Rey saw the tears drip onto his black shirt, but she couldn't feel them rolling down her face. She couldn't feel anything, actually. No physical feelings at least. The wounds of battle didn't even phase her.  
Rey couldn't even fathom that Ben could die. She had come this far with him. She had sacrificed everything for him. She wanted nothing more than him. This isn't how it's supposed to happen. She is not supposed to leave this planet without him, not after everything they've been through.

She used her remaining physical strength to pull him back up. He was heavier than she imagined. She held his limp body up with one hand and placed the other hand on his face. Ben had transferred all of his remaining life force into her in order to bring her back, costing him his own life. Between the two of them they only had enough life for one whole person. The emperor has stolen too much for both of them to survive at their full capacity. But she didn't need her full capacity... not if it meant she couldn't have her dyad. If she could transfer half back to him, they would surely regain their full strength through time and mediation. She had to try at least. She couldn't just leave him without trying. 

Rey pressed a shaky, exhausted kiss to his forehead before concentrating all of her being into him. She gripped his cheek and focused on the force surrounding them both. She imagined one whole being cut in half to make two. She concentrated everything into this one moment. She breathed life back into him. She cut part of her soul off and pushed it into him. She killed half herself so he could live. 

Rey collapsed from exhaustion... but cold, strong hands were there to keep her from falling. She looked at him through blurry vision and tears. She felt her dyad coming back into existence. 

"Ben?" She murmured, her voice hoarse from screaming. 

"How did you do that? There wasn't enough..." Ben asked, confused and worried,

"I couldn't let you sacrifice everything. There's enough left for us to both live... barely live." Rey corrected herself, "But I'm sure with time... with time we'll be okay again. Just for now we have to be at half..." 

Ben didn't let her finish. Overwhelmed with the opportunity to kiss her again, to hold her again, he couldn't resist. He pulled her face against his and felt her plush lips grace his own. He kissed her gently. So gently like he was afraid of breaking her. He didn't know he even had the capabilities for such softness.  
Rey melted against him. Wrapping her arms around his torso and barely holding herself up while she kissed him. She found the act curious. She had never done it herself. It was both exactly what she imagined but still foreign. It was nice. Very nice. She was glad she got to do it more than once. 

After they broke apart they both let out sighs and chuckles of relief. The battles that they had been fighting around them and between them were finally over. Things finally started to become clear. Reys confusion and anger of who she was. Bens infatuation and frustration with Rey. The war... it was all ending. 

They both stood with shaky legs and groans of pain, Rey was finally starting to feel the physical pain of battle. They held each other up with all the energy they could muster and limped out of the colosseum. They passed remains of the Nights of Ren along the way and Rey couldn't help but stare,

"Weren't these guys your friends?" She asked, amused at his ability to slay each of them,

"Friends? No." He looked down and her and smiled. "The First Order discouraged friendships. I hadn't even seen most of them without their masks." He paused, "Hell, I didn't even know most of their names." 

Rey exhaled through her nose and smiled.  
They finally reached Luke's X-Wing after several minutes of limping and grunting through the pain. Once they got closer Ben slowed. 

"I don't... I don't know what to do." He murmured,  
"What do you mean?" Rey asked,

"I have no where to go. I don't know anyone or... have anything outside the First Order." He looked distantly at the sky where Last Order ships were still falling out of the sky.

"Well don't be silly." Rey laughed, "You're coming with me." 

Ben looked at her with pain in his eyes, "I don't think it's that simple. The Resistance would hardly accept me with open arms. Besides... I don't want to be among them anyways." 

"Ben... the war is over. The Resistance isn't 'resisting' anything anymore." Rey laughed at her own joke. "They will accept you." She said a bit more seriously, "You saved me. You defeated the Emperor." 

"You defeated the Emperor, Rey." He said firmly, "I slaughtered resistance fighters for 5 years." 

"Ben..." Rey wrapped her arm around his bicep, "No... no that's not you. Kylo Ren is time. He died. You don't have to live his life." 

"It's not that easy!" Ben didn't mean to shout. Rey startled and let go of his arm. He looked at her and sighed, "I'm sorry. I'm lost." 

Rey rested both hands on his shoulders. She forced him to look into her eyes and she smiled as widely as she could. Ben couldn't help with relax at the sight.  
"I want to help you in whatever way I can. I want to help rebuild Ben Solo. This won't be easy, but I'll be by your side the entire time." 

Ben caught her face with his hands and kissed her again. He didn't know how to say what he was feeling. 

"Come with me to Ajan Kloss. Let the see you as Ben Solo. Let me tell them everything. I'll stand by you every step." She said against his lips. 

Ben nodded. 

After a moment of fighting over who will pilot the X-Wing, Rey got into the cock pit and set them on course. Ben protested but to being a passenger but Rey convinced him otherwise. 

Moments after being in the air, Rey connected into the communication link of the Resistance. 

"That's the Red Five!" Finn exclaimed over the com, "Rey's alive! You made it!" 

Rey smiled, "I'm coming home." 

"I couldn't feel you... I thought we lost you." Finn murmured,

"Yeah..." Rey paused, "Yeah I thought I was gone too. But he brought me back." 

"He?" Finn asked, "You mean... Ren?" 

"That's a story for when we land at base." Rey responded,

"WE?" Finn and Poe said in sync over the com. 

Rey clicked the com off and looked at her passenger, Ben. He resembled a very, very sad and confused child, Rey thought. This wasn't going to be easy. The hard part was yet to come, she thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben begin to deal with returning to the Resistance and the judgment they will face.

The X-Wing touched down on Ajan Kloss not long after. Ben could see out the window the hundreds of resistance fighters celebrating on the ground. There was cheering and hugging and crying. Ben thought it was a strange sight. They won the war but also killed millions of people in the process, First Order or not, they were people. A bit hypocritical, he thought.   
Anxiety began to swell in his chest when the hood of the X-Wing lifted off. It was time for him to face the Resistance. 

"Common Ben." Rey smiled and reached her hand out for his. "Don't worry, none of these people know who you are. They've never seen your face." 

Bens chest relaxed. She was right. He could walk through this crowd and not a single person would know who he is. Rey is the only one who's seen his face. Ben grabbed her hand and hopped down from the cock pit. 

BB8 practically slammed its body into Rey's legs. She bent down and smoothed her hands over his round body. He seemed to be totally in tact. She was pleased the battle didn't take its toll on her small droid friend. 

Rey weaved her way through the crowd with Ben following closely behind. He wasn't sure how to act or feel. This was one of the first times he's walked through a crowd of people without a helmet on. Resistance fighters accidentally bumped shoulders with him and brushed passed him, paying no mind to who he was. He was just a face in the crowd. 

Ben stopped when he saw Rey sprint ahead. She embraced her two best friends about 10 yards in front of him. If anyone was going to know who he was it would be the Resistance pilot and the deserter Stormtrooper. He watched as they all laughed and squeezed each other. Pure joy on all of their faces. He crossed his arms over his chest while a pilot walked passed him and said,

"We did it!" 

He chuckled at the interaction. 

When Ben looked back at the three before him, he was startled by the deserter Stormtrooper running towards him. He took a defensive step back and tried to not draw attention to what was unfolding in front of him. 

The deserter had an expression of pure hatred. Not only that, but Ben could feel the disgust radiating from within him. Ben was brought back to the reality of who he was, and what he had done. 

Rey caught up to Finn and put her hand on his shoulder, stopping him before he could reach Ben. Poe was following closely behind, a similar look of hatred on his face. 

"Finn, stop!" Rey said harshly, "We need to go talk. All of us." 

The four of them settled into a secluded meeting room by the command tower. The celebrations raged beyond the room but the four of them were only focused on the situation in front of them. 

"Tell me exactly what happened on that planet!" Finn shouted at Rey, "I need to know what possibly could have made you bring back...." 

"Finn..." Poe interjected,

"This piece of human garbage!" Finn finished his statement anyways. 

Rey looked down at her hands that were beginning to shake. She was torn. She knew why Finn felt the way he did. She also knew she would have a hell of a time explaining what changed with Ben. 

She looked at the faces around the room. Ben was pushed a foot away from the table, his arms crossed against him chest and his ankle over his knee. His expression was stoic. He looked at his foot instead of at the people before him. If he looked at the others he risked letting his emotions run rampant. He needed to stay calm if this talk was to go well. 

Poe was concerned more than anything. He was open to hearing what Ben had to say for himself but hesitant to trust him. He needed to hear the truth straight from Rey if he was going to allow Ben in. 

Finn was pure anger. Rey could hear his heart pounding in his chest. Finn didn't trust Ben for a moment. He was angry Rey brought him here and even angrier Ben was still alive. He thought for sure he would have been on the command ship that he had destroyed an hour ago. Finn was barely willing to listen to Ben, he needed to hear it all from Rey. 

Rey cleared her throat. "That isn't very nice." She said calmly. Ben smiled. 

"Nice?" Finn slammed a hand on the table, "Why would I be worried about being nice?" 

Poe put his hand on Finns shoulder. "Let's listen to what they have to say Finn. We have to."

Rey nodded at Poe, silently thanking him. She looked at Ben and offered a smile that said 'trust me'. 

"When I first arrived to Exegol I was alone, on my way to face the Emperor." Rey began. 

She talked for almost and hour. Not sparring a detail. Thankfully Poe and Finn listened. Ben sat quietly only interjecting to share the moments Rey was passed out or dead. They explained every moment since arriving on Exegol... excluding the kiss. Rey relived every emotion while retelling. She relived dying. Relived Ben dying. Tears brimmed on her eyes at times, unable to explain in full detail without letting one slip out. 

"How can we be sure?" Poe finally said a minute after Rey finished.

"Of what?" Rey asked,

"That Kylo Ren is dead." Poe looked hesitantly at the black figure, arms still crossed. 

"I think you'll just have to trust me on that." Rey said biting her lip. "I don't know how to tell you I know. But I do. And if anything were to happen, I would take responsibility for him." She looked at Ben, his face exhausted and stoic, "Id bet my life on him being pure of heart." 

"Bullshit." Finn spat, "he's a soulless killer! He's murdered thousands on innocents!" 

"I don't think you'll ever trust me Stormtrooper." Ben said, avoiding eye contact, "So you'll just have to trust Rey." 

Finn stood up from the table and pointed his finger at Ben, "I am not a Stormtrooper! And no! I never will!" 

Poe stood with Finn and said firmly, "I think you should go Finn." 

"What?" Finn gasped,

"I understand your emotions, but you can't deal with this right now. You're acting with emotions first and we can't afford that. Go celebrate, let me stay here a moment longer. General Organa always listened to what people had to say... her son isn't an exception to that." 

Finns chest tightened. General Organa's son... that didn't even feel right. Finn looked at Ben Solo and frowned. That is her son. 

"Fine." Finn said before walking off. 

Once he was out of ear shot Ben finally made eye contact with Poe Dameron, "You're a good diplomat. Smarter than you let on. My mother was wise to choose you." 

Poe furrowed his brows. He wasn't expecting a compliment. 

Rey sighed. Finn would take some time to warm up, but he would. 

The three of them continued to talk a while longer about keeping Bens identify a secret from the Resistance fighters for now. It would be too challenging to explain the entire situation to all of them. The risk of them not accepting him is too high. For now, Ben Solo wouldn't reveal his identity. He was just another Resistance fighter that no one had noticed before. Poe was still hesitant but trusted Rey's decisions. He also trusted the blood that ran through Ben Solos veins. 

After the celebrations had settled and people began returning to their quarters, Poe, Rey and Ben also finished their talk. There was still a lot to discuss between them and a lot for Poe to think about. He wasn’t quite sure where to go with the Resistance now that the war was over and he wasn’t sure what kind of role Ben Solo played in that. For now he wanted Ben to stay out of the way and have his identity remain hidden. 

Ben also wanted to stay out of the way for now. His ill feelings towards the Resistance still lingered in the back of his mind despite never really caring about the war. The war was more about Rey than anything else to him. World domination was a distant second to joining forces with Rey. He needed time to figure out who Ben Solo was and what life he would live outside of the First Order. He also wanted time with Rey. Being a dyad meant he knew her soul like his own... but at the same time he didn’t know anything about her. For example, he knew what she was thinking by the ripples in the force around her, but he didn’t know what her favorite color was. 

Rey on the other hand felt more calm than ever. Her path in life was more clear than ever. She was excited for the future ahead of her and no longer felt the aching fear that’s lived inside of her for so long. Her fears of who she was and the power she possessed was long gone. Rey began embracing who she was... not as a Palpatine, but as Rey. Just Rey. It was time for her to define who she was not based on her blood but by her heart. 

Rey tapped Bens arm when they stood from the table and motioned for him to follow. She was starving and was very much looking forward to the celebratory feast she could already smell. She hadn’t eaten since she visited Luke Skywalker and took his X-Wing. She caught a fish and ate it while Master Skywalker lectured her about being safe with the X-Wing. That must have been... 12 hours ago now. She needed to eat something and then immediately go to sleep. 

Rey lead Ben silently down a beaten dirt path through the woods. Away from where all the pilots parked and where Resistance command operated, there was an overgrown building that housed the mess hall and several smaller rooms they used for housing. Most Resistance fighters slept on their ship, Rey included, she lived on the Falcon, but the others had small rooms off the main building that they had been living in for almost a year. 

The building was originally stone but the forest had overtaken some of it, leaving all the walls lined with tree branches and shrubbery. It was charming, actually. Rey loved to see all the green. 

The mess hall was as lively as ever. People were laughing and cheering while enjoying their meals and drinks. Rey and Ben got in a line with the rest of the fighters. Ben thought it was odd to see such normalcy. He hasn’t eaten with other people in years let alone eaten in a mess hall. Now that he thought about it, the stormtroopers ate in a mess hall. But he had never gone into it. 

Ben and Rey held out plates as a group of older women of all races filled them with foods from all over the galaxy. Ben didn’t recognize most of the foods but his mouth was still watering at the sight. Rey graciously thanked each woman. They all looked and thanked her like the hero she was. Ben liked seeing her treated like that. 

“Do you want one?” Rey asked. Ben blinked at her, unaware of what she was regrading. He looked down and saw she was holding two ale bottles. He hadn’t drank alcohol since he joined the First Order. The Order was actually completely dry- there was no alcohol allowed on any vessel and those who offended that rule were executed. 

“Sure.” Ben said. 

They weaved through crowds of people who all patted Rey on the back as she passed. Many clinked bottles with her unopened ale as well. Meanwhile they payed no attention to Ben. People let him pass but not another glance was directed towards him. It was one of the most liberating feelings to be nobody. 

Without having to discuss it, Rey lead them back to the Falcon. Rey usually ate alone anyways but especially now, she needed another moment alone with Ben. 

Rey let out a sigh of relief when the Falcon came into view,

“Oh thank god!” She exclaimed,

“Hm?” Ben asked. 

“The Falcon looks completely untouched! It’s amazing. Part of me was afraid I’d come back to a pile of scrap metal.” 

“I guess the Wookie does all right on his own.” Ben murmured, attempting to comment on it without bringing up soar wounds of his father. Rey turned to him and smiled, 

“No, not alone.” She said cheekily, “Lando Calrissian came back to fight.” 

Bens heart slowed and his palms began to sweat, “Calrissian is here?” 

Rey nodded eagerly. 

Before he could mention another word about him, Calrissian himself stepped out from behind the Falcons ramp. He stood beside the entrance with his arms crossed, staring intently at Ben. Bens feet were frozen to the ground as he allowed Calrissian to analyze him. 

“So?” Lando started, breaking out into a sly smirk, “Is it true? Did the Son of Han and Leia really come back to fight alongside the Resistance Jedi?” 

Rey looked between them and smiled, she could feel the familiarity. Furthermore she could feel no judgment from Lando. Instead he felt welcoming and relieved. She ran over and gave him a side hug with her free arm. 

“That was good fightin’ out there girl.” Lando said into her ear, 

“I’m so thankful for you to have come back.” Rey said, “Thank you.” 

A moment later Ben had found his way to standing right in front of them. His lip quivered as he looked at his fathers best friend. Memories from his childhood flew freely into his mind. Lando was around a lot when Ben was just a boy. He knew him well. He was more of an uncle to him than Luke Skywalker ever was. 

“Ben.” Lando grinned, “Let me be the first to tell you that Solos are great at changing their mind on a dime. It doesn’t matter what your past is... what matters now is how you make up for it.” Lando placed a firm and solid hand on Bens shoulder and squeezed it. “I trust you’re here for the right reasons, and I’m damn happy to see you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, i hope you enjoyed another chapter! Don’t forget to comment and give me some Kudos <3 it means the world to me!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re wondering why this book is labeled explicit... this chapter will explain why! If you aren’t comfortable reading things that are NSFW or explicit, i suggest not reading onwards. Thanks for the love <3

"Why do you look like that?" Rey asked Ben after nearly ten minutes of silence. 

They were sitting on the floor of the Falcon beside the Dejarik table eating their meal. They hadn't said a word to each other after Lando walked off. Ben didn't seem angry or upset from the conversation... just quiet. His expression was pensive and tense. Like he had something on his mind but didn't know how to say it. Rey felt the tension in the room getting worse every second, she finally couldn't take it.

"What do you mean?" Ben asked. He knew what she meant, but he didn't know what else to say. 

"You have something on your mind." Rey stated with a frown. 

Ben looked at her frown and a smirk instantly crawled onto his face. A frown was an odd thing to see on such a joyful face. 

"It's just... a foreign thing for me." He said with a sigh. 

"What is?" 

"This." Ben motioned to the space between them, "Eating with someone." 

"What?" Rey laughed, "Did they not feed you in the First Order?" 

"No." Ben looked at her and grinned, "Well, they did. Except it was always alone. Droids would bring me food in my quarters. No one ever wanted to eat with me, imagine that." 

"I wonder why that is? You're obviously such good company." Rey said, reflecting on the fact that he hadn't said a single word the whole meal. Ben laughed and put his hands behind his head. 

"Do people usually eat while they talk?" He asked playfully. 

"Yes!" She rolled her eyes. 

"I thought that was bad manners." His chest rose and fell as he stifled a laugh. Rey wanted to get up and smack him. He was just trying to be difficult. "I'm just tired as all." He admitted. 

Rey sighed, "Me too." She paused before continuing, trying to decide if she should continue her thought, "Apparently dying takes a lot out of someone." She chewed the inside of her cheek... was that too soon? 

"Oh really?" Ben looked away from the ceiling and back to her. He rose a eyebrow, "Imagine how I feel, I died twice." 

"Twice?!" She blurted before thinking. 

"You killed me two days ago. Remember that?" He crossed his arms over his chest and grinned.

"I did not!" Rey leaned forwards. Her hands started to sweat instinctively. She knew he was being playful by bringing it up but part of her still felt uncomfortable about the event. "You didn't lose consciousness. You were alive the whole time." 

"Fine. You stabbed me though. With my own saber." He cocked his head to the side. Why was her stabbing him somehow... humorous?

Rey nodded with her eyes wide. "I did didn't I?" She was amazed at how light this conversation was despite circumstances. 

"You did." He smiled wickedly at her. 

"Well if you don't watch yourself, Ben Solo, I'll do it again!" She shifted forwards and crawled past the empty plates of food until she was on her knees right in front of him, assuming a position like she was going to stab him again. 

He had his legs sticking straight out in front of him and his back against the wall. Her closeness to him made the humor in the room fade and be replaced with something else. Something they felt on that planet hours ago. 

Lust...

The air in the room got heavy with both of their breathing quickening. Somehow they were building up excitement between them without having to say anything. The connection between them tugged them together like a string. Rey's lips quivered as she looked at his. His lips parted slightly while looking at her. Her body moved without permission as she crawled further and put her knees on either side of his thighs. Instincts told her to put her hand on his chest. She felt his heart race beneath his black shirt. 

After taking a moment to indulge in the idea of her sitting on his legs and after swooning over her attempt of getting closer to him; he couldn't hold back a moment longer. With a quick jolt of his knees, he shifted he feet onto the ground so she slid forwards into his lap, sitting on his pelvis. She stopped herself from falling completely forwards so instead she towered above him, her face hovering just above his. 

His hands slid up her arms and rested on the back of her neck, admiring her for a moment before pulling her face down to his. He pressed his lips against hers in a desperate attempt to get closer to her. Closer physically and figuratively, he wanted to be one with her. 

Rey rested her hands on either side of his face and indulged herself. This was now only her second kiss ever... it couldn't be more magical. 

Bens right hand found its way around her waist, snaking it behind her and pulling her closer so they were chest to chest. He was hungry for more and her lips weren't cutting it. He slipped his tongue past her lips and swiped between her teeth. Rey made a noise of shock and enjoyment, he took that as an invitation to delve back. 

Their tongues ran circles around each other, rubbing and grinding against each other in a playful way. Despite having an extra tongue in her mouth, Rey managed to smiled during it. Rey relaxed into the rhythmical motion and instinctively put her weight down, sitting down on what she was hovering above. 

Ben moaned into her mouth when she accidentally ground her hips down onto him. Rey retreated her tongue in shock from what she had done but was too embarrassed to look at him. Instead she kept her face next to his so they couldn't lock eyes. 

In a desperate attempt to feel it again Ben squeezed her lower back with his arm, slightly motioning her back down. 

Rey bit her lip as her face filled with blush. She had no idea what she was doing. 

She ground her hips back down, this time with more intention. Ben wrapped both his arms around her and grunted again. She moved her hips and back and forth, eliciting the most soft, passionate sounds from Ben. 

Rey grabbed Bens face in her hands again and kissed him while continuing to move her hips back and forth in his lap. She had no idea if she was doing it right... or even what it was that she was doing. She figured the firm object rubbing against her right thigh might be part of it. 

After a full minute of Rey's teasing with her hips and their passionate kissing full of tongue and playfully biting each other's lips, Ben couldn't take it anymore. He assumed the room to their right had to be the one she had turned into a bedroom, it was the only one he hadn't seen. With his arms wrapped snuggly around her and the ease of his strong legs, he stood up with Rey still attached to his torso. She buried her face into his neck and sprinkled gentle kisses all along the skin there while Ben walked quickly into the next room. 

He was happily surprised to see an untouched, full size bed. He was worried there would be a single bed but apparently Rey likes room when she sleeps. He stood at the end of it and laid Rey down on her back with him hovering above her. She hoisted herself up on her elbows and shyly smiled at him. The red was still apparent across her cheeks and Ben thought it might have been the sweetest thing he'd ever seen. 

He rested his knees on either side of her legs and looked down at her. He lifted his hand to cup her blushing face and furrowed his eyebrows. Rey’s face was an odd mix of emotions. He could feel the lust and want radiating off of her through their connection, but her face almost looked scared. It was a smilie look to when she first saw him face almost a year ago. She was frightened. Ben wordlessly scolded himself for pushing their relationship this far, this fast. 

"You've never been with someone." He said as softly as he could. 

"Is it obvious?" She chewed on her lip. 

"No." He cocked his head to the side, "I just figured from the redness in your face." 

She placed both her hands on her cheeks and felt how warm they were, "You have...?" She asked. 

"I have." He said.

She hesitated and cast her eyes away. Exhaustion and desire clouded her better judgement. She was inexperienced and nervous. She knew she wanted this, she knew she wanted Ben, but she wasn't sure she wanted it now. 

Without having to explain herself, without having an awkward conversation of how she felt, Ben placed a kiss on her check before plopping beside her. He sat beside her and motioned for her to lay into his arms,

"There's no hurry." He said plainly. 

Rey sighed and laid back, snuggling against him and shutting her eyes. 

"I think I need to sleep for ten years." Rey said quietly,

"We have time for that." Ben said softly, he was about to pass out from exhaustion as well. 

He didn't feel let down in the slightest, nor did he feel rejected. He knew what she was feeling, and he didn't want this moment to be half assed and tired either. If he was going to have this with her, he wanted it to be when he was at his best and when she was ready for it. He had slept with a small number of women across the galaxy when he was with the First Order. Each of those encounters was uncomfortable and not very fulfilling. But, he did it to pass time and to fill some void in his heart. Now that that void was beginning to fill with Rey, he didn't want sex to be like it used to be. He wanted it to mean something. Especially since it was her first. The thought excited him. Despite his exhaustion a tent persisted in his pants. Another day, most likely soon, he would feel everything he's desired. Today, he was going to hold her while they slept for as long as they could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment below if you would rather have:  
> Shorter chapters that are posted more often  
> OR  
> Longer chapters that are posted less often   
> Let me know! Thanks guys <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys asked for longer chapters so here's one a bit longer! I hope you guys like where the story is going and enjoy!

Rey woke up sweating. She sat up and ran a hand across her forehead. It wasn't the room that was warm but rather herself. She must have been dreaming about something, she thought. She didn't actually know what, however. She was about to lay her head back down but her mind slowly cleared from her sleep haze and she realized something was missing. She went to sleep with Ben and he was nowhere to be found now.

She padded across the bedroom floor to the bathroom. Maybe he was just relieving himself, she thought. The door slid open rather loudly and it was empty. She frowned. She walked barefoot out into the main room, nothing. Being slightly afraid Ben had left she began to get frantic. She skidded around the entire ship until she finally decided to call out for him.

"Ben?" She said into the empty room.

From door leading to the flight deck, Ben's dark hair poked out. The only place she didn't look.

"Hm?" He said.

Rey sighed and walked over to the round entrance. He was sitting in the pilot's chair with his leg tossed over the armrest. He was just staring blankly out the round windows in front of them.

"I was looking for you," Rey said quietly.

"I know." He replied, still looking straight ahead, "I heard you."

Rey rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, "Well what are you doing? Going somewhere?" She motioned to the controls in front of them.

"No." He smirked and looked over his shoulder, up at her, "Just couldn't sleep."

"It's only been a few hours," Rey replied,

"I know. I'm not used to sleeping in long increments." He said, nodding towards the co-pilot chair for her to sit.

She slid into the chair and faced him, "Why's that?"

"I was usually woken up every couple of hours by someone needing something from me." He paused, reminiscing, "It was usually one of the Generals being anxious about tiny details. Specifically General Hux." He shook his head and his dark hair reflected the moonlight all around the room.

"He was the spy you know," Rey said, wondering just how much he knew.

"Oh, I know. I've known ever since a meeting we had before he got in contact with the Resistance. His mind was always easy for me to read. I could hear him going over this plan he had for getting information to the Resistance. His anxiety was so overwhelming I could barely think. So I asked him if my helmet made him nervous." He grinned widely and chuckled,

"Why did you let him contact us?" Rey asked, intrigued.

Ben looked at her and reached out to run a finger along her arm she had propped on the armrest, "I thought if the Resistance knew where I was, it would bring me one step closer to you."

Rey laughed and grabbed his outstretched hand, "That's not very tactical of you, Supreme Leader."

Ben rolled his eyes and squeezed her hand, "I wasn't exactly thinking about the war at that point." He looked lovingly into her eyes and sighed, "Ever since our first meeting on Star Killer Base, my intentions completely changed. I used to long for world domination and power. After seeing you... all I wanted was to be by your side. Everything I did after the day you scarred my face," he motioned to his face, "was to get closer to you."

Rey's face melted from humor to regret. She crawled out of her chair and into his lap, forgoing any awkwardness of sitting on him again. She took his face into her hands and ran a finger down his pink scar. She felt sad looking at it. For a year he had been tracking her down while she did nothing but run, and try to hurt him.

"Don't be sorry." He said while running and hand down her back, "I don't hold this... or anything else against you."

Rey shut her eyes and rested her forehead against his.

"Things changed... quickly. I can't explain what changed in the last day and I think that scares me more than dying did."

"What do you mean?" She pulled her face away to scan over his. He suddenly sounded more serious than before.

"Two days ago I wanted nothing more than to sit on the Throne of the Sith with you. Now... I don't think I want that anymore." He stumbled over his words while trying to explain, "I was guided by darkness and hatred. I don't know what I'm guided by now."

He shut his eyes tightly and sighed. Rey whispered that it was okay, and asked him to keep trying to explain.

"Something changed in me so quickly when my mother spoke to me. It was like... everything I am and everything I wanted burned away and I was left with nothing but wanting you." Ben tightened his grip around Rey's waist, "All of my intentions and desires in life have changed in one day and it made me completely lose my sense of self." His lip quivered, "I don't know who I am anymore."

Rey forced her lips against his and frantically kissed him, trying to steal the pain away from his voice so she could share the weight of his pain.

"I know who you are." She said against his lips, "I know."

Ben held her close to his chest and kissed her in the pilot seat of the Falcon for minutes. For the first time in his life, he had no clear direction. He feared the future and he feared himself even more. He wasn't sure if he was the same man who could kill Rey, or if he was someone new. Either way, he could feel that Rey would be there to find out who he was. Their force connection bound her to him, and him to her. No matter what happened next, they would have each other.

Ben picked her up bridal style as he had in the forest a year ago, this time she was conscious to know what was happening.

"Bed?" She asked while resting her head on his chest.

"Yes." He said.

Once on her feet, Rey pulled the beige scarf that wrapped around her body loosely and dropped her belt to the ground leaving her in her white tank top and pants. That would help her from sweating again. She crawled into the bed and Ben quickly followed, laying his body against her back and pulling her close. Rey realized he had taken his black shirt off. He snaked his bare arm over her waist and she ran her nails along with it. Moments later she was fast asleep, him too.

In the morning, Rey was pleasantly surprised that Ben was still beside her. He was sound asleep with his back to her and his arms crossed protectively across his chest. She rolled out of bed and padded her bare feet over to the bathroom. She looked in the mirror and sighed, she looked like an absolute trainwreck. She didn't normally care too much about how she looked as long as her hair was tidy and she was clean. Unfortunately, she wasn't even passing that standard. Rey looked closely at her face in the mirror and cringed. Dried blood and dirt dusted her cheekbones. She wondered how she managed to be any sort of intimate with Ben looking like this. Then she remembered his busted lip and cruised face. They both looked like trainwrecks. She pulled her sloppy buns loose from their ties and let the knotted, dirty hair dangle past her shoulders. She pulled her brush from the drawer she always left it in and tried desperately to tame her locks. She ended up ripping quite a bit out but at least it was combed through. She cranked the handle that turned on the shower and set it to as hot as it would go. She felt like she needed the heat to wash away the last several days.

She began undressing herself in the mirror, letting her clothes and undergarments drop to the floor. They were all filthy, soaked with sweat and sea-water and blood. She should probably just throw them away, washing them seemed like more work than it was worth. Once she took everything off except the white wrap she puts around her chest she realized just how much she had gone through physically. She traced her fingers over the huge bruises that covered her body. Aside from the bruising she had the strangest cast of gray alone her chest and trailing down her shoulders. She scowled and ran her fingers over it. It didn't look like any sort of injury she had ever seen before. It almost looked like she was decaying...

"You have that too?" Ben's voice echoed around her... no. Not around her, inside of her.

"Are you inside my head?" Rey whispered,

"I don't mean to be," Ben replied, his voice still solely inside her head. "When I woke up I was already there."

"Well... leave," Rey said harshly, she was almost completely exposed and didn't want him seeing her shower.

Rey wrapped a towel around her waist and left the bathroom. Ben was sitting on the edge of the bed staring at her. Now that it was light in the room she could see his exposed skin on his chest now. It was gray, just like hers. She pointed to her collarbones,

"What is it?" She asked timidly,

"I don't know." He sighed, "My best guess is that its residual damage from what Palpatine did to us."

Rey shuddered and began thinking about the feeling of having her life drain away. She never wants to experience something like that again.

"I think you're right." She said softly, "It will go away though," She paused, "I hope... I hope it'll go away."

"Can I ask you something?" Ben said while running his fingers through his matted hair.

"Yeah," Rey replied.

"When you brought me back, you somehow balanced the remaining life between us." He stated. Rey chewed her lip,

"Yeah... I don't know how though." She said,

"I think when you did that, you split the power between us too." He held his hand out and flexed it, "I don't feel as powerful as I used to. Do you?"

Rey scowled, she hadn't really noticed anything. The force wasn't something she actively paid attention to. Obviously, Ben paid attention to it. He was much more trained in the force than she was, that was obvious to her. Nervously, Rey held her hand out to one of the shoes she had kicked off onto the ground. A week ago, the shoe would have flown across the room and into her hand in less than a second. Rey fell back against the wall and gasped when the shoe barely lifted off the ground before falling to the floor again.

"Wha-What have I done?" Rey shrieked. She held her hand in front of it and it shook violently, "I can't... I can't do it! What did I do?"

Ben was across the room in an instant to console her. He wrapped his hand around her shaking wrist and squeezed it. She looked frantically from her hand back to him.

"It's okay, Rey." He said softly, "It's okay. We're going to be okay."

Rey shook her head as if to say no.

"This isn't permanent. We can regain what we lost. We just have to train again, like when we first found our powers." Ben let go of her wrist and put it on her cheek, lifting her face to kiss her.

"How can you be so sure?" Rey whispered,

"I'm not..." He admitted, "But we're going to try. We have to."

Rey kissed Ben again softly. She was scared and overwhelmed about not having her powers but trusted that they could relearn them through hard work. She trusted Ben and knew he would do whatever it takes to get them back to their original strength.

"I'm going to go wash up," Rey said quietly before retreating into the bathroom.

The hot water felt amazing on her bruised skin. She basked in the feeling of the pressurized water bearing down on her sore shoulder muscles. It felt amazing. She used an aggressive amount of soap all over her body, scrubbing at the dried blood and dirt that stuck to her skin. She was so sick of feeling dirty. She was sick of feeling weak, too. But that feeling might not go away any time soon.

After her shower, Ben went in and did the same thing. He scrubbed at and rinsed his aching body until he felt like he was finally clean of the last several days.

While he was showering Rey dug through her clothing to find something to wear. She didn't necessarily want to put back on her typical outfit. She felt like that look was part of the old Rey, she was different now. Her intentions had changed. She pulled out tight black pants and a gray tunic top. The top was similar to the white one she had been wearing before, with a matching scarf to tie around her body. It was a darker look... more mature maybe. She looked in the mirror and adjusted the fabric, it looked good, she thought.

Just as she began brushing her hair with her fingers, the bathroom door slid open and revealed Ben with a towel tied around his waist. Rey could feel her cheeks stinging with redness at the sight. His hair was dripping with water as it hung around his face. The water dripped down his toned chest and shoulders. He was mesmerizing.

She tried to not stare and continue struggling with her hair. As she began sectioning it off to put it in buns Ben suddenly appeared behind her. He put his hand on hers and pulled her hand away from her hair.

"Keep it down," he whispered, brushing a strand of wet hair behind her ear, "I like it."

I'm any other circumstance Rey would have said something like I don't care if you like it, but right now, she couldn't. She shivered at his touch and her stomach tangled itself in knots. He smirked at her in the mirror before walking off. Rey tousled her hair and accepted that it would stay down before gathering herself and turning to face him. She cleared her throat and Ben looked back at her,

"There's some clothes in that closet that you can help yourself too. I found them on the Falcon a while back and think they might have been your Dad's." She paused, "They might be Lando's too, I'm not entirely sure."

Ben began shuffling through the clothes before pulling a few things out. He settled on wearing the same pair of pants he had before and a gray long sleeve shirt. The black one he was wearing earlier was no good, it had a lightsaber-burned hole in it.

Once dressed Ben found Rey sitting on a wood box outside the Falcon. She was looking away from him so he took a moment to admire her. He traced his eyes over her side profile, admiring the perfect curve of her nose and the plumpness of her lips. The freckles that dotted her tanned skin were a small reminder of all the days she spent salvaging on Jakku, all the days she was forced to fend for herself. She didn't have to do that anymore. Ben was grateful she had found the friends she has. He didn't care much for the deserter she calls Finn or Poe Dameron, but they were good friends to her. That's all that really mattered. He hoped that now he could be part of the people in her life that she can depend on. He spent so long making her miserable or causing her pain. He had done so much wrong in his life he feared he couldn't make up for it in a thousand years.

Ben walked over to her and she looked up at him, squinting from the bright sun behind his head. She smiled softly. 

"We should talk about what we're going to do next," Ben said. 

"Do you have any ideas?" Rey asked.

"Well, we need to spend time training if we're going to bring back our strength. I think we should start by getting our own lightsabers. I threw mine in the ocean and I don't feel right using theirs." 

"I was actually thinking the same thing." Rey said, surprisingly, "These aren't ours and I think they should be laid to rest somewhere." She said about Luke and Leia's lightsabers. Ben nodded to her. "But what do you mean get our own? Where does one go to find a lightsaber?" 

"Well, you don't exactly find them." Ben cocked his head at her, he was surprised she didn't know how this worked. Luke taught him all of these things when he was a boy so he figured he had taught Rey the same. Rey still wore a blank, confused expression. He would have a fair amount of explaining to do. "I'll explain over something to eat."

Rey and Ben found their way back to the main building of the Ajan Kloss Resistance Base and grabbed various breakfast items from the spread put out by the same ladies who served them last night. The whole room was quite a bit more laid back than last night. People trickled in to get something to eat, chatting quietly about yesterday's success. Rey overheard a few pilots talking about a meeting Poe and Finn were going to hold in the afternoon about what their next steps are. She made a mental note to go to that.

"Lightsabers get their power from Kyber crystals." Ben began while Rey munched on a muffin, "Kyber Crystals are native to a planet called Illum where there are caves full of them at the planet's core. The crystals are flooded with force energy and can sense if someone who is strong with it enters. A crystal would choose you and begin glowing a certain color based on how they asses you. The Crystal Caves are said to be the most sacred place for a Jedi."

"How do you know this? Have you done this before?" Rey asked.

"Luke." He said, hesitating. "Luke taught me this when I was a boy. And yes... I've been to Ilum before." Ben felt his stomach twist.

"Well then let's go there!" Rey said eagerly.

"Well... It's not that simple. You've been to Ilum too, Rey," Ben said uneasily.

"What?" Rey gasped,

"Ilum was Starkiller Base..." Ben murmured. "The Kyber Crystal caves are what gave Starkiller Base it's great power and well... Ilum is destroyed now."

Rey sat quietly for a moment, taking in the information Ben was saying to her. She felt partially faulted for destroying a sacred Jedi planet. But, she reminded herself, the First Order is who used Ilum for their dirty work.

"Well is there anywhere else we can go to get Kyber Crystals?" Rey asked,

"Actually, yes. I've heard rumors that they are being sold on the black market these days. They won't activate unless someone who is force sensitive holds it, so they're basically just expensive rocks to the smugglers."

"Any idea of where to start?" Rey asked.

"Batuu. Black Spire Outpost. They always have what I'm looking for in that dump." Ben said.

Rey agreed to their tentative plan and continued eating her breakfast. She thought about Ilum and how she had no idea she was standing on sacred ground when she was there. She wishes she would have known. She would have tried to change the Resistances plans to destroy it had she known.

"So a crystal chose you... and turned red," Rey asked, thinking about how Ben had gone to the caves before.

"No." Ben swallowed hard and looked away from her, "Kyber crystals cannot naturally turn red. They don't sense light or darkness in people, just whether or not they are force sensitive. When I received my crystal it was green. There's a certain Sith ritual you have to go through to turn it red." Ben looked at her and felt hiding the truth was unavoidable, "You have to taint the crystal, in some capacity. By focusing enough passion and hatred into it, it'll crack and begin glowing red... like it's bleeding." 

Rey heard what he was saying, and accepted that all those years ago pain and anger guided his decisions. She placed her hand on top of his and squeezed it. He was on a different path now and they would walk it together,

"I wonder what color mine will be?" She said smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment and leave kudos <3 Hearing from you guys is the best and really motivates me to write more.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter before we get into the main, bulk of the story. Enjoy!

"Before we leave I want to talk to Poe and Finn," Rey said to Ben as he finished his third cup of coffee.

"They won't want you to go." Ben said plainly, "Especially not with me."

"I don't think that's true," Rey frowned, "They know I can handle myself. Besides, I'll bring a droid to keep us company."

Ben immediately sighed and put his head into his hands, "Please... please do not bring C3PO."

Rey's lips turned into a devilish smile, "You know C3PO?"

"Of course I do, he and R2D2 are my mother's droids. I grew up with them around our house. While my mother was busy building the New Republic, I was left alone with C3PO on most days." Ben didn't speak of the time very fondly. He didn't think he had the most joyful childhood, even when he was a toddler. He felt a huge sense of abandonment from both his mother and father.

"Do you think he still remembers you?" Rey's eyes twinkled at the possibility,

"I don't want to find out." Ben sighed, but before Ben could get his words out Rey was flagging down the golden droid and his blue counterpart.

"C3PO! Come over here I have someone you might remember!"

Ben tugged on the ends of his hair. The two droids only flooded his mind of memories. Memories of his parents arguing every night. Memories of his Father leaving on the Falcon and never coming back. Memories of his Mother being gone all day working, never asking if he was happy.

"Oh!" The metal voice ran shivers down his spine, "Master Ben! I haven't seen you since you left for your Jedi training with Master Luke!"

Ben stood up and turned around, he smiled politely at the droid and told him to keep his voice down. R2D2 was squealing and shaking back and forth on its wheels. It was very happy to see Ben.

Rey's stomach turned when she saw the amount of discomfort she was causing Ben. Guilt washed over her and she realized maybe bringing back some of these memories wasn't a good idea. Furthermore, the droids obviously didn't know Ben Solo was Kylo Ren. She hadn't even thought about that possibility. C3PO thought Ben had been away training the whole time, he didn't know the full story.

"Are you back for good Master Ben?" C3PO asked.

"Just for a while C3PO, I'm leaving soon with Rey to train."

"Oh, how you've grown Master Ben!" R2D2 whirred in agreement.

"Maybe you can catch up later," Rey offered, trying to fix her mistake.

The droids pattered away eventually and Rey hugged her elbows tightly. "I'm sorry." Rey murmured, "I thought seeing something from back then might be good." She cast her eyes away but could feel Ben's sizzling anger. The anger wasn't directed towards her, she could feel that.

"No. No, it wasn't helpful." Ben said, voiding all emotion in his voice. "I should get back to the Falcon."

"Why?" Rey asked, looking up at his frown,

"The Wookie is close by," Ben said.

"How do you know?" Rey whispered, peering around the mostly empty room.

Coldness and fear washed over Rey as she heard the Wookie cry out. Before she could react, the 7-foot tall Wookie was running at the two of them.

Chewbacca grabbed both of Ben's arms and shoved him to the ground, letting out the most violet growl Rey had ever heard from him. Rey grabbed the Wookie's arm and begged as quietly as she could to let go. They were already making a scene and Rey didn't want it to get worse. What made the whole incident worse is when she looked at Ben's face, he looked broken. He didn't fight back either. He let Chewbacca pin him to the floor. He let him scream in agony into his face.

After Chewbacca finished growling into Ben's face, something changed. Rey stood back when Chewie stopped. Chewie lifted a giant hand and pounded onto Ben's chest, not enough to hurt him but enough to make a point. Chewie's growls turned into cry's. The same sound he made when Ben drove his saber through his Han's heart. Chewie cried and continued pounding on Ben's chest.

Ben's lips quivered as he watched the pain he's caused people in full display before him. He was brought back to all the days he spent with Chewie. Chewie was there everyday Han was, Chewie was an extension on his father. The Wookie played with him while his parents fought in the other room. The Wookie taught him how to play Dejarik, he even let him win sometimes. Chewbacca was there when Han and a Leia were too busy for him.

Chewie let Ben go and sat on the floor, crying into his furry hands. Chewie watched the boy next to him grow up, and then he watched him kill his best friend.

Ben put his hand on Chewies shoulder and clenched his throat, not letting his cries escape, "I'm sorry Chewie," was all Ben could say.

The Wookie wrapped his arms around Ben and wailed.

Eventually, the two stood up but Chewie kept hugging Ben. It was an odd mix of sadness and forgiveness between them. Chewie shook Ben back and forth in his arms. Ben struggled to stay standing but let Chewie do what he wanted. Ben eventually started laughing at his lack of grace.

"What's going on?" Rey startled from the whisper behind her. She turned around and saw Poe standing there, hands on his hips, mouth wide open at the sight before him. Rey walked over to him.

"I think Chewie just forgave Ben," Rey whispered back to him.

"Huh? Imagine that." Poe said, scowling.

"Well, I guess Ben grew up with Chewie," Rey said.

Rey said that part a bit too loud because Chewie responded with a playful wail. Ben detached himself from the beast and laughed,

"You did not raise me," Ben said in response.

Chewie nodded his head furiously and demanded that he did.

Before retreating to the Falcon so Ben didn't suffer any more ghosts from his past, Rey told Poe she needed to talk to him and Finn after the Resistance meeting in a couple of hours.

Once on the Falcon, Ben slumped into the couch that surrounded the Dejarik table and put his head into his hands. Seeing people from his past brought back the same pain that originally pushed him so far away from his family. He was brought back to how alone he felt growing up and how desperately he wished he had a normal family. The loneliness in his heart made it so easy for the darkness to find it's way into him when he was a child. He feared now that darkness still lingered in him, no matter how badly he wanted to move past that.

Rey's hand on his shoulder came as a loving reminder of why he was here, and what his intentions were now. His connection to Rey was stronger than any of the pain he's felt in his life. Holding onto her meant holding onto his sanity.

Ben stood up and wrapped the girl into his arms, hugging her as tightly as he could against his chest. Her fresh scent filled his nose as her loose hair brushed against his face.

"I'm sorry I put you through that," Rey whispered next to his face.

"It was unavoidable. I was bound to have those interactions eventually. This base is full of people that have known my mother a long time... that usually means they know me too. The longer we stay here the more people will recognize me."

"Then we'll leave soon. I need to talk to Finn and Poe tonight but after that, we're gone."

"No droids?" Ben chuckled,

"Actually there is one I was thinking might want to come along." Rey pondered,

"Who?"

"His name is D-O, we found him on Ochi's ship."

Ben stayed behind while Rey headed for the Resistance meeting. He was still emotionally drained from seeing C3PO, R2, and Chewbacca. Although he had started to make amends with the Wookie he wasn't ready to be best friends with him. He also wasn't sure Finn would take too kindly to him being there. Poe had been surprisingly unbothered by Ben for the most part. Ben sensed that Poe Dameron was very accepting of people despite their past, perhaps Poe himself had a darker past that people had forgiven him about.

Rey made her way through the crowds and settled on a couple of wooden boxes close to Poe and Finn. Finn made his way to her and hugged her tightly,

"That freak isn't giving you too much trouble, is he?" Finn asked. Rey smiled and shook her head,

"No, no he's not. You don't have to worry about him or me."

Finn rolled his eyes and laughed, "All I can do is worry about you, Rey."

Poe called for everyone's attention as they gathered in a ring around him and Poe.

"We have a lot to talk about, people." Finn echoed Poe. Everyone quieted down and Finn gave a knowing nod to start.

"The First Order is no more!" Poe started, cheering instantly started. Poe waved his hands and asked for them to quiet down. "But, we still have a lot of work to do. Stragglers... First Order sympathists... they're still out there. It's our duty to the galaxy to seek these groups out and destroy them. We need to send a message that the galaxy has no tolerance for the First Order. We have an example to set for everyone in the new galaxy. A new order starts today, and that order is freedom from anyone who threatens our way of life!" 

Cheering and laughing boomed around the two Generals. 

"We've already started getting reports of First Order activity across the galaxy." Finn continued, "Our allies are sending in reports of Stormtroopers killing innocents in retaliation. We are sending out squads of Resistance fighters to protect our allies wherever we are needed. We have a lot of people out there counting on us."

After a few more talks about the specifics of their future missions, Poe and Finn finished the meeting and the fighters spread out, excited to get assigned to their new missions. Finn and Poe followed Rey to a secluded space where she could explain her personal new mission. 

"After my fight with Palpatine, I lost some of the strength I used to have," Rey said solemnly. She hesitantly pulled the neck of her tunic down to show the grayness that stained her skin. Finn gasped and ran his hand against her collarbone.

"Rey..." Finn began,

"It's okay." Rey assured him, "I'm okay. Ben is the same way. But that just means we have a lot of work to do. We need to train and work on regaining our powers. If we are going to help the Resistance rid the galaxy of the First Order we need to be at our best." 

Poe and Finn nodded their heads in agreement.

"So we need to go away for a while," Rey added.

"Why can't you train here?" Finn blurted, "Why do you have to leave?"

"There's some things that we can't do here. Ben's told me about a way we can make our own lightsabers." 

"Well go there and come back. Train here." Finn said adamantly,

"Finn..." Rey murmured,

"Well, then I'm coming with you," Finn said.

"The Resistance needs you here, Finn" Rey said, looking to Poe for help.

"I need you here, too, Finn," Poe interjected.

"Guys!" Finn looked between the three of them, "I thought we were a team!"

"We are, Finn." Poe said, "But times are changing, our roles are changing. We have people counting on us here." 

"Oh come on!" Finn argued, "You can't be serious? Letting Rey go with that murderer?"

"Finn," Rey said softly, she could feel his pain and betrayal.

"No! No." Finn said, kicking his boot into the ground, "Don't listen to me! Go. I don't care." Finn looked between his two friends before storming off. 

Rey clutched her hand to her heart and tried to stop the tears brimming at her eyes. She loved Finn. Hurting him broke her heart but she needed to do this. She needed to find her strength and find herself, more importantly. Outside of the Sith, the Jedi, outside of everyone telling her who she was. She needed to finally find who Rey was. 

"I'm sorry," Poe murmured.

"It's okay," Rey replied. 

"He'll come around." Poe said, "Anyways, you have my support. Whatever you need. I'll call you if we need you here." 

After agreeing that Rey would take D-O so Poe could communicate with her if needed, she found her way to the supplies room to take what she thought she and Ben would need. She started filling a cart with food and a water generator, the generator could condense some of the air on the Falcon and turn it into drinking water. She packed for about two weeks of food. If they needed more she was sure they could pick up supplies from a travel station somewhere in the galaxy. In the corner of the room, there was a cabinet full of standard clothing. She rifled through some of the shelves and grabbed a pair of boots for herself and a jacket. Ben said Ilum was freezing, and she didn't even own a jacket. At the top of the shelves, she grabbed what she thought was a black scarf. After unfolding it to see if she liked it, she realized it wasn't a scarf at all. A silver clasp at the top two corners revealed that it was actually a black cloak with a hood. She hesitated, remembering Kylo Ren's daunting silhouette that always included a cloak. She folded it back up and tossed it into the cart. He might like it, she thought. 

Rey grabbed a few weapons too, two blasters and two pistols. She didn't like using them that much, they felt clumsy. She preferred using her staff more than anything but she wanted to become more comfortable with a saber. Maybe when she has her own she'll feel more inspired to use it. 

An R2 droid carried the cart to the Falcon while she went off to say some goodbyes to her friends. She found Chewie first, who hugged her tightly and told her to come back soon. He also playfully threatened her about keeping the Falcon safe. Lando Calrissian was with Chewie, so she hugged him too, thanking him for being here. She asked Lando to look after Poe and Finn. He said he'd always be there to guide them the best he knows how. Lando also asked her to look after Ben,

"He's a troubled kid, but a good one at heart. I trust you'll keep him on the right path." Lando said with a wink,

"I'll do my best," Rey laughed.

Next was R2D2 and C3PO. They both expressed that they wanted to come with her, but understood when she reminded them that they were needed here. D-O was with them, so she took the opportunity to ask him if he wanted to come with her,

"Y-Yes, please. Yes please." The small droid stuttered. 

He rolled in circles around Rey. He liked Rey. She was the first one to be kind to him in a very long time. 

BB8 crashed into her as she approached Poe and Finn. The orange droid angrily rolled into her ankle over and over again in protest of not going with her. Rey laughed and tried to explain that he was needed here.

"If I didn't know better, I would have thought he was your droid," Poe said, scowling at BB8.

BB8 conceded and rolled back to his owner.

"Oh, jealous, are we?" Rey laughed.

"Maybe," Poe responded. 

Rey crossed her arms and sighed when she realized Finn was ignoring her. "Silent treatment, huh?" Poe asked his fellow general. "That's real nice." He said under his breath.

Rey hugged Poe and thanked him for being understanding. She was really proud of Poe. He had gone from moody, reckless pilot to a real leader, overnight. She trusted that under his command, Poe was going to lead the Resistance to great places. 

Rey shuffled over to Finn and frowned, "You know I have to go, Finn." She murmured.

To her surprise, Finn hugged her. She relaxed into his grip and put her head on his shoulder. "I know." He said. "Take care of yourself, Rey. Come back in one piece." 

"I will." She grinned and pulled back to look at his face. "You take care of yourself too. I'll be back in no time."

Finn cupped her cheek with his calloused hands, "Can't wait."

Rey said her goodbyes to her friends one last time, her heart ached having to leave them. She wished she could ask them to come but they all had bigger roles now. They were leading a whole to order into the galaxy. Their days of running missions around the galaxy were over now. It was time to be adults.

"Rey!" Finn called as she walked away. She turned back to her best friends, "I dig the hair." He said motioning to her head. She brushed a piece of her long hair behind her ear and blushed.  
On her way back to the Falcon, Rey passed the R2 droid she sent with the supplies, it was carrying an empty cart now. She hustled back, surprised that Ben unpacked it himself. The ramp to the Falcon was down so she went right up. Ben was pushing some of the boxes of food into the corner of the main room,

"Hey, thanks for-" Rey was cut short when Ben turned around and stood up. He had found the cloak. 

Ben's figure was striking. He was once again dressed in black, save his gray shirt. Under his flowing cloak, he had a black belt strapped to his waist with both lightsabers attached to it. His chest filled out the gray shirt, his muscles flexing under his clothing as he breathed. He had thick black boots that added another two inches to his stature. His hair was pushed back from his face and fell in elegant layers down his head. 

Rey had suddenly forgotten how to breathe. 

"Is this the droid?" He asked in his deep, husky voice.

D-O rolled past Rey who was still paralyzed. He looked just like he did the first time she saw him, but this time it wasn't anger that flowed out of him. His presence was peaceful, calming. 

"H-Hello. I am D-O," The small droid said, accidentally rolling into his boot. 

"Your voice modulator is damaged," Ben said calmly down to the droid.

"I-I k-know," He stuttered.

"I can fix that." He cooed.

Rey finally pulled herself away from staring at him and finished walking onto the Falcon. She had been standing on the ramp the entire time.

"You can?" Rey asked,

"Sure. It's not difficult." He said confidently.

"R-Rey eliminated m-my squeaky wheel," D-O said proudly.

"She put oil on your tire? Some mechanic she is." Ben laughed and smiled at her. 

Rey rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. Despite his daunting look, he still managed to be sarcastic.

"Are we ready to go?" Ben asked her.

"Yes." 

Ben and Rey walked side by side to the cockpit, both reaching for the pilot's seat. They looked at each other and scowled,

"Oh no, I'm flying," Rey said.

"I've been flying the Falcon a lot longer than you have," Ben said,

"Bullshit." Rey laughed,

"I learned how to fly on this ship when I was eight," Ben said.

"That was a long time ago! You've probably forgotten since then," Rey snickered.

"Bullshit," Ben rolled his eyes and laughed, "There is no way you're flying."

"And why not?" She asked,

"Because I've been flying longer than you've been alive."

"It's not my fault you're old," Rey turned her nose up at him.

"Old?" Ben recoiled.

"Yes." 

After several more minutes of Rey and Ben arguing over who is more fit to pilot the Falcon. Ben promised her they would switch back and forth. However, he had no intention of keeping that promise. Ben slid into the pilot's seat and began firing up the converters. Flying the Falcon was second nature to him. He really had been doing it for a long time. Sitting in the pilot's seat took him back to when he was a child, but this time it was positive memories that filled his head. He had some of his best memories with his dad in this chair. Now he was with the only girl he's ever loved on his way to make a new future for himself. He felt security for the first time in his life. 

As they lifted off the planet's surface before he jumped to lightspeed, Ben grabbed Rey's hand and pressed his lips to the back of her hand. He didn't want to be with anyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment <3 Thanks for reading and supporting!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's come to my attention that I made a small mistake. I previously said that Ben and Rey were making their way to the planet of Ilum to find Kyber Crystals to make their new lightsabers. That is impossible because the planet of Ilum was actually turned into Starkiller Base. As we know, Starkiller exploded. Therefore, Ilum no longer exists. I still want Rey and Ben to go on a mission to find Kyber Crystals so I needed to find somewhere else for these 2 to get them. Disney's new theme park attraction Galaxy's Edge features a place called Black Spire Outpost where visitors can go build their own saber using Kyber Crystals. Using this information I am mending this story to have Rey and Ben make their way to the planet of Batuu (this is where Black Spire Outpost is) in hopes of purchasing black market crystals. I have updated past chapters to reflect this change. Feel free to go back and re-read them. I hope this all makes sense and thank you for being understanding with me learning more about Star Wars lore as I go.

Rey was excited to finally be alone with Ben. On Ajan Kloss she felt like she was walking on eggshells. She wanted to be around Ben and stand up for his character, but felt like just being with Ben was a betrayal of her friendship with Finn. It hurt her that being with Ben made Finn so uncomfortable and angry, but she didn't blame him one bit. Now that she was going off on a mission with just Ben, she felt like she could finally give in to her relationship with Ben, whatever that relationship may be. 

When she stood on the Death Star with Ben, it wasn't a romantic connection that drove her to save him. It was their Dyad that made her feel like she needed to save him. But when she saved Ben again on Exegol she kissed him. She couldn't explain why she wanted to kiss him but... she did. Now that they were alone again she couldn't help but stare at his lips and wish she could taste them again.

Their relationship confused her. She knew that their Dyad was the biggest thing connecting them so she had a hard time determining if their romantic connection was a result of their Dyad or actual interest in one another. How could she be catching feelings for a man that tortured her? Maybe, she thought, she just had a bad case of Stockholm Syndrome. 

"You know where you're going, right?" Rey asked, hugging her knees to her chest in the co-pilot chair.

"Of course I do." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "I was actually on Batuu not too long ago. It's in the outer regions so it might take a while to get there." 

"Tell me about it." Rey hummed,

"Batuu?" 

"Yeah."

"Well it has three suns," Ben laughed, "So it's hot."

"No cloak then," Rey smirked.

"You underestimate my ability to withstand the heat." Ben laughed and shook his head, "I wore a lot heavier of a cloak and a mask everywhere I went, I think I'll be okay." 

"Tell me more," Rey insisted. 

"It's a huge travelers outpost for smugglers and thieves. It's like a melting pot for every race, I'm not even sure which race is native to Batuu, that's how diverse it is. It's also pretty dangerous, I'd hide any valuables while we're walking around Black Spire Outpost." He paused and coordinated the Falcons autopilot, navigating them to the outer regions, "I mentioned I was there recently, it was on First Order business. The Order has a huge presence on Batuu. We'll probably run into some trouble from Stormtroopers and what not. I can't imagine what's happening in places like this now that their leadership has fallen."

Rey tried to hide her expression. He was their leader, and Kylo Ren fell. She wondered how he felt about what's happening to the galaxy now that the First Order is falling apart.

"You don't regret it, do you?" Rey whispered.

"Leaving? Killing Kylo Ren? Betraying the Empire that I built?" Ben smirked while Rey's stomach did a backflip, "No. No, I don't Rey." She felt her chest physically unclench. "Like I said, it stopped being about galactic domination after the first day I felt our Dyad aboard Starkiller Base. Everything I've done in the last year wasn't for the First Order."

Rey sighed.

"I've always wanted to build something new with you, Rey." He said with such sincerity it sent shivers down Rey's spine, "I didn't want the First Order, I didn't want the Resistance." He swiveled in his chair to give her his full attention and he rested his arms on his knees, "I don't think we're Sith, I don't think we're Jedi either. We both have darkness in us, whether you want to admit it or not. You're stronger than I am, though. I gave in to the darkness in my heart... you never did. We have light in us too, we have Jedi in us. I could hear the voices of the Jedi on Exegol as well. That's what made me climb out of that hole."

"What are you saying, Ben?" Rey murmured, hugging her legs to her chest.

"I think those that came before us we wrong. It's wrong to say you are either pure goodness or pure hatred. The Jedi way is one without passion. The Sith way in one fueled by selfishness. Neither of those can be right. I think you and I, our dyad, can be the start of a new way. One that seeks righteousness, and gives in to the passion that drives us. An order of strength that isn't used to intimidate but to liberate the galaxy." The passion in his voice was infectious, this is something he had been thinking about for a long time. Ben paused and grabbed Rey's hand, making her untuck her legs from her chest, "I don't want you to be afraid of who you are. The power inside of you, Palpatine's power, you don't have to run from it. I think when the time is right you can use that power for good." 

Rey chewed her lip, "I'm afraid of that power. It's a Sith's power," Rey said softly.

"No," Ben said gently, "No, it doesn't have to be, Rey. It is your power. You can use it however you want to." Ben scanned her face. She looked scared. He wanted her to trust him. He wanted her to believe in him. "Come here, Rey." 

Ben opened his arms and Rey crawled into his lap, placing her knees on either side of Ben's thighs and sitting on his thighs. He ran his hands up and down her back while she placed her hands on his shoulders. 

"I'm scared to use it. I'm scared of who I could be," She murmured.

"Only you can say who you are." Ben said, "You get to decide that for yourself." 

She placed a hand on his cheek and smiled. She smiled so hard her face hurt. That's all she ever wanted anyone to ever say to her. That's exactly what she wished Finn had said to her. That's what she wished Ben said to her months ago. That's what she needed to tell herself. 

She pushed her lips against his and rain her fingernails into his scalp, threading through his coarse hair. This time Rey pushed her tongue into his mouth, lapping up the taste of his tongue. Ben wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her as close as he could. He grunted into her mouth as she ground her hips down, just like he likes. She rocked her hips back and forth on him, desperate to show him she needed him. 

The more she ground on him the more she drove him crazy. He needed her. He needed to show her just what she means to him. She is everything to him. He bucked his hips into her and she gasped. The sound of her gasping into his mouth drove his absolutely crazy. He wanted to make her make even more noises. His desire grew in his pants and pressed against her leg. He bucked his hips into her again and pressed her down with his hand on her shoulder.

"I need you." He said into her ear. 

Rey whimpered from the whole thing, his voice whispering into her ear, the desperation in his voice, the lust-filled aggression in the way he bucked his hips against her. He made her insides throb. 

"Me too," She whispered.

"Now?"

"Yes."

In a swift motion, he carried her bridal style back into the bedroom. It was the second time he had carried her like this, although she didn't remember.

When they reached her bed, Rey could hardly contain the feelings she felt inside. It was an odd mix of lust, happiness, and relief. She felt connected to Ben in a way she didn't really understand. He had been so open and raw with her. He had shared every thought that was swimming around his head and she accepted everything he had to say. She felt like he had a plan and a path that she was excited to follow. It was pure joy and admiration for the person standing before her. 

Ben gently tossed Rey onto the bed and she bounced on her back for a moment. She looked up at Ben as he unclasped his cloak and let it fall to the floor. She watched, mesmerized, as he pulled his gray shirt over his head. He tossed that to the floor as well. 

He stretched his toned arm out to the light switch on the wall and effortlessly made them turn off. Rey furrowed her eyebrows and looked at him,

"I thought you couldn't use the force, either." She asked. 

Ben shrugged, "I couldn't. I guess desperate times make my body remember how to do it." He laughed and stared at his hand.

He returned his attention to Rey. She was chewing intently on her bottom lip. Her face was an obvious color of pink and her eyebrows furrowed together slightly. Ben crawled towards her on the bed and hovered over her, holding himself above her with his hands. He placed soft kisses on her cheek and down her neck. Rey let small giggles escape her mouth as he traced her skin with his lips. 

"What?" Ben asked as his own lips curled into a boyish smile, "Is something funny?" He said softly against her jaw. 

Rey pressed her lips together but couldn't stop the infectious smile escaping her, "No," she shook her head furiously. She couldn't contain the happiness seeping out of her. 

The very idea what Rey was this excited to be in bed with him filled his heart with a kind of joy he didn't know was possible. 

Rey ran her nails across his grayed chest while he continued decorating her with slow kisses. Despite the discoloration, she still thought he was perfect. She felt comfortable and safe. An unexpected feeling considering it was her first time being intimate with anyone.

In a burst of confidence and excitement, Rey started tossing her own clothes to the ground. She unwrapped the scarf around her body and pulled the tunic over her head in an instant, hurtling it to the floor with Ben's clothing. 

"Beautiful," The one window in the room sprinkled starlight over her skin making her look like she was glowing. Ben traced his hand down her ribcage and along the white wrapping that covered her breasts. Ben made no motion to take it off of her but hoped she would do it on her own eventually.

Rey pushed her pants off before resuming their passionate kissing. She wrapped her legs around his waist so his torso would be pulled down, flush against her. Ben groaned from the sensation.

"Are you sure you want this?" He murmured against her neck. 

Rey arched her back into him and whispered, "Yes." 

Ben released all of his emotions from the last year into this moment. Every time she didn't take his hand when he offered was leading up to this, to Rey finally wanting him back. Every time he laid in his bed unable to sleep because all he could see was her eyes. Every time the force connected him to her. He finally got to physically connect to her, to touch her, to kiss her... to make her his. 

Ben reached below him and ripped her pants and undergarments down, throwing them somewhere behind him. His hand found its way between her legs. He ran his pointer and middle finger down her wetness, finding their way to her entrance. Rey let out the softness moan, arching into his touch again. He could feel her heart pounding against him. He slipped one of his fingers into her, easing into her virgin body. Rey wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his neck. Ben worked another finger into her over time, slowly moving in and out of her while she hung onto him, gasping from the foreign sensation. With every noise she made he grew more restless. 

Although the sensation was foreign, it was the more euphoric thing she had ever felt. Ben was making her legs shake and her body feel like it was going to explode. She wanted more of the feeling. She felt like she was floating. 

Rey, with her inexperience, wasn't sure what she was supposed to do during this. So, she did what she wanted, and what she wanted was to make Ben feel as good as he was making her feel. Ben knew exactly what to do to make her body shake, she was nervous she wouldn't do it right. Rey ran her hand from his neck down his torso to the hard bulge that was pressed against her thigh. She put her hand around his length through his pants and moved up and down. Ben immediately dropped his head onto her shoulder and groaned like an animal. Rey bit her lip... I think I'm doing it right, she thought. She kept pulsing her hand up and down which made Ben stop fingering her, but she didn't mind. She was having too much fun making Ben groan. 

"Fuck, Rey." Ben breathed.

Ben pulled away for a moment to finally pull his pants down, adding to the pile of clothes on the ground. He started to move back towards Rey but froze when he saw her face. She looked strikingly similar to the way she stared at him on Starkiller Base. Mostly fear with an odd mix of interest. He couldn't help but laugh. She didn't even hide that she was staring at his dick. It was kind of dark in the room but he could see her face clearly. 

"Why do you look like that?" Ben chuckled. He wrapped his hand around his length and pumped slowly, trying to tease her.

"Why is it so big?" She said barely above a whisper. She felt like it would absolutely rip her in half. How do people do this? She thought. 

Both endeared by her innocent reaction and exhilarated by her compliment, Ben couldn't help himself much longer. He moved over her again and held himself up by putting his hand next to her head. He cupped her face with his other hand and ran his thumb across her cheek, "Don't be afraid," He whispered.

She trembled and breathed out, trying to stop showing how pathetically scared she was, "Okay," She placed her hand over his, "I trust you." 

Ben reached below them and held his length at her entrance, slowly toying the tip against her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his neck again. She sighed softly at the feeling. Even the smallest touch from him was euphoric to her. 

Ben held her against him and slowly pushed into her. Rey immediately tensed and dug her nails into his shoulders, "Ow," She whimpered.

Ben moved his hips slowly, only putting in half at a time. 

"It hurts... but don't stop yet." She said coarsely, determined to figure out how this works.

"That's not even all of it Rey." He said, a bit concerned. 

"You've got to be kidding me." She laughed, which made her body clench down on him.

"Ah!" Ben grunted.

"What?" Rey leaned her head onto the bed to look at him, "Does it hurt for you too?" 

Ben grinned and shook his head, "No, no it feels amazing." He continued moving in and out of her, savoring every noise that fell from Rey's lips. At some point, she stopped making noises of pain, he took that as an invitation to put all of him in her.

When he was completely inside her Rey couldn't stop herself from crying out. There was a small amount of pain but the pleasure she felt was overwhelming. At this moment she had never felt closer to anyone else. She wasn't just physically connected to him but spiritually and emotionally too. She felt like their souls had collided into one.

Ben felt the exact same way. He fucked her with more passion and tenderness than he ever thought capable. With every moan she made he was desperate to hear it again. Sex had never felt better than it did now. With the girl he wanted more than anything wrapped around his neck calling out his name, he felt more bliss than ever before. He never wanted to stop making her feel this good, he never wanted to stop feeling her insides wrapped around him. 

Ben felt his desires completely take over him, unable to stop his mind from doing whatever he wanted. He pulled out of her and Rey made a groan of protest. He picked her up by her waist and easily flipped her over onto her stomach.

"What are you-" Rey started to ask but Ben pressed her face down into the pillows. His better judgment told him to not be so aggressive, but he couldn't stop.

Rey stopped fighting when he slipped back into her, his hand pressed against his back to make her arch into him. He liked this position, it made him feel powerful. 

"Oh my god..." Rey whined into the pillows, "This is even better."

Moments later Rey's whole body shook and clenched down on him. She didn't say it, he wasn't even sure she knew it, but he knew she had come. 

A few more thrusts and Ben pulled out of her, sputtering come all over her back. He grabbed his shirt from the floor and wiped off what he could before falling next to her. Rey quickly snuggled up against him and put her head on his chest. He was panting and sweating like he had just ran a marathon. Rey, on the other hand, was just physically overwhelmed from her first time.

Ben felt frozen. He had crossed into a territory he wasn’t familiar with. He had sex before, sure, but he had never experienced what comes after it. Usually the girls he slept with would just leave after. Now he was with a girl he cared about, someone he wanted to be emotionally intimate with. He didn’t know what to say or do. 

Rey felt a shift in him. She felt the bridge they had formed between them start to crumble. She looked up at him, trying to search for the intimacy she had just felt from him. She sat up, trying to will him into saying something. He looked away, into the window across from them. He was cold. 

Rey crossed her arms and got out of the bed, ripping the sheet from under them and wrapping it around herself. He didn’t have to say anything. She knew when she was unwanted.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter that I’ve written so far :)

Ben laid on the bed a second longer before slapping himself in the face, 

"Dammit!" He said under his breath. 

He got out of the bed and found his trousers, pulling them on to cover himself. He walked into the main room of the Falcon and called out for her, desperately needing to rectify his mistake. 

"Rey!" He scanned the room, "Rey, where are you?" He yelled up the ladder leading to the gunning pod. "I need to talk to you!" He walked down the corridor to the cockpit and found her sitting in the co-pilot chair with her knees up to her chest and her head resting on them. "Rey..." he sighed. 

"No, it's fine." Rey spat, looking up to him with puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. "Your message has been fully received." 

"I didn't mean to be like that". He reached out to touch her but she pulled back. 

"Don't touch me," she commanded. Her actions made his chest ache and his soul weep. "You obviously only had intentions of fucking me. I was foolish to think it meant anything to you." 

Ben sat in the pilot's chair and tried to fumble out an apology, but her coldness to him made him freeze. 

"I should've know you'd be like this." Rey frowned, "You've done nothing but hurt me since I met you, why would now be any different? I thought you could change." 

"I can!" Ben clapped his hands together, "I can-I am! Rey... I'm trying." 

"You're trying?" Rey sneered, "Is screwing me like a dog and then refusing to kiss me after you trying?"

Ben sat back in the chair and covered his face with his hands. How could he be so stupid? He wanted this to be a special moment he shared with her but instead, he ruined it by not even holding her after coming all over her back. 

"I'm sorry." He murmured. Rey snorted in disbelief. "I am," He begged. "I'm clearly not used to this sort of thing!"

"Your confidence says otherwise." She remarked. 

"Not about having sex." He murmured. 

"What then?" Rey raised her voice. 

"I'm not used to having sex with someone I give a shit about!" Ben stood up and raised his voice a bit too much, but he couldn't control himself. "Hell! I'm not used to giving a shit about anyone!" He yelled. Rey cowered back in the chair and listened intently. "It's always just been me! Alone! Everyone else in my life I've either killed or pushed away! You're all I have Rey! And excuse me if I'm not perfect at showing I care about you but I don't know how to do this shit!" 

Rey bit her lip and felt the tears brimming at her eyes again. Maybe she judged him too harshly.

"Fuck!" Ben kicked the wall of the Falcon and dented it severely before walking back down the corridor. 

Rey wiped her eyes and wrapped the sheet tightly around her, following him back down the corridor. He wasn't perfect, by any means. He had demons to fight and hurdles to overcome. But she'd be damned if she wasn't there to help him through it. She had momentarily lost sight of that.

"Ben," she called after him, "Let's talk." 

She found him sitting on the edge of the bed with his face in his hands. She sat next to him and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"I thought you didn't want me to touch you," Ben remarked solemnly. 

"I'm sorry," Rey whispered. "I didn't mean to be like that. I said some pretty nasty things. I'm not used to being close to people either so when you got so distant I just assumed you didn't want me anymore. I'm not good at this either."

Ben wrapped his arm around her waist and she swiveled to put her legs over his. She sighed and rested her head on his chest.

"I care about you, Rey," He said softly, "More than I know how to express. I don't know how to show you that."

"I know," Rey murmured. "I can feel it."

"I'm sorry I made your first experience so miserable," Ben said.

Rey shook her head, "No, it wasn't all bad." 

"No?" He smiled slightly.

"I'd like to do it again sometime," She blushed.

"Me too."

He held her against him for a moment longer, thankful she was so forgiving and patient with him. They had a lot to learn about each other but Rey was sure they could forge through. She had realized through this that is wasn't just the force connection that drew them together. It was more than that. Ben was troubled and had seriously hurt her in the past, but she could see past that, she could see the goodness in him that was slowly trickling out.

___

"Are you ready to go?" Ben asked a few hours later after they had docked in a landing bay on Batuu. 

"Yes," Rey smiled, finishing tying her boots up. 

Ben thought she looked pretty. Her hair being down was a nice change, and he liked the darker clothing on her. I should tell her, he thought. 

"Rey," he said. 

She looked up at him, "Huh?" 

"Nothing." What the hell?

She furrowed her eyebrows. 

"You look... good." He finally managed to say. 

Rey laughed and flashed her dimples at him. "Thanks."

"Here's your saber," He handed her Lukes saber. 

"Shouldn't we take the blasters? We don't want to draw attention to ourselves if we need to use them," Rey asked. 

"We'll bring both." Ben attached Leia's saber to his belt and covered it with his cloak. "Let's go." 

They walked down the ramp and greeted the man who let them dock. He was an Ithorian, a very odd looking race. Ben handed him a stack of credits that she couldn't help but wonder where he had gotten. 

"We'll be back by sunset." Ben told the man, not waiting long enough for a response. 

Rey walked next to him but let him lead the way. It was a busy city and Rey didn't know where they were going. He told her there was a shop in particular he thought would have what they're looking for. 

Barely a minute outside of the hanger Ben had already spotted stormtroopers. "Put your hood on," he said quickly. 

Rey looked through the crowd and saw a pair walking down the streets. She covered as much of her face as she could. 

"Every First Order Stormtrooper in the galaxy knows your face, Rey. Stay alert." 

Rey scoffed to herself. Who's fault was that?

They weaved around people, Rey keeping her face down and sticking close to his feet. The busy streets and mix of races reminded her of Mos Eisley. This kind of diversity and liveliness in a city made Rey happy, she liked places like this. Rey inspected the shops as they passed while trying to keep up with Ben. He was walking too fast to get a good look at anything but she still tried. There were small produce stands and fish stands and even jewelry merchants. 

One stand in particular caught her eye, a stand that was selling candy. Rey had a sweet spot for sweets. She didn't get them often on Jakku so anytime she could get something sugary, she couldn't pass it up. She stopped and starting looking over the piles of hard glass-like candies and soft, taffy candies.

"Hello," the shop keeper said. She was an older lady with a shawl over her head. 

"Do you make these yourself?" Rey smiled at the woman. 

The shopkeeper nodded, "Oh, yes. Have been for the last fifty years!" 

Rey reached into her pocket to see how many credits she was carrying. She didn't have much, and it probably wasn't enough to get herself anything. 

Ben's hand grabbed her bicep abruptly and he pulled her back, making Rey lose her balance. "You can't just run off like that. I thought someone took you." 

Rey looked up at him with a sour face. "Took me? Who do you think I am? A child?" 

"Sometimes you act like it. Candy? You stopped for candy?" He said while looking around them. He was aggressively paranoid. 

"Yes, candy. I wanted some." Rey pulled out the credits she had and handed them to the lady, "What can this get me?"

"Anything you'd like young lady." The woman croaked. 

Rey smiled and grabbed one of the small bags on the table, filling it with a few of each pile. She took less than she probably could have, but only because the lady seemed so kind. She didn't want to swindle her. Rey stuffed the bag in her pocket and turned back to Ben. 

"See? That didn't take long." 

Ben rolled his eyes and held back a smile. "You're difficult. Now can we go?" 

They continued down the street at a slower pace. He gave in to letting her stroll and look at shops. He kept a close eye on the stormtroopers that passed them. So far none of them paid any attention to either of them. He guessed there would be a big bounty on both of their heads now but luckily very few in the Order had seen his face. Hux had, but he's too dead to tell anyone.

Finally, they reached the market Ben was set on finding. It was hidden below a filthy bar that criminals hid out in. In the back corner of the bar there was a door being manned by a guard. You just had to say you were looking for Gurt. 

Ben and Rey moved slowly through the bar, keeping their heads down and there senses about them. If anyone was going to have a bounty on them it would be someone in here. Ben asked Rey to stick close. In the back of the room, there was a masked bounty hunter, just like Ben thought there would be. 

"You're in the wrong place, First Order," the bounty hunter said to Ben. How did he know Ben was First Order, Rey thought. "We don't take kindly to the likes of you.”

"We're not here to cause any trouble. We just want to see Gurt," Ben said calmly.

"He's not here anymore," The bounty hunter lied. 

"Please," Rey stepped forwards, "we're not First Order. We're looking for Kyber Crystals." 

Rey took a chance and flashed her saber to the hunter. The hunter paused and looked them both up and down. "Been a long time since we've seen Jedi around here." The hunter moved aside and opened the door for them. 

Rey thanked him as she descended the stairs into the basement. 

"You could have gotten us killed," Ben whispered to her. 

"I took a chance. It paid off." 

In the lower chamber there were lit up shelves of strange looking wares. There was everything from ship parts to weapons to living animals. There was only one person in the basement, Gurt. He was a huge Besalisk with an eyepatch. Ben and Rey approached him cautiously. He hadn't turned around yet but they knew he knew they were there. 

"Kyber Crystals, eh?" Gurt said, peering over his shoulder. "I'm one of the last people in the galaxy who's got any." 

"So we've heard,"Ben said. 

"Those rocks won't do you any good unless you've got Jedi senses, you know." Gurt said, turning to face them. He was polishing some item with his bottom set of arms. 

"We know," Rey said. 

"So you're Jedi then?" Gurt asked. 

Ben replied, "Something like that. Can we see your collection?" 

"You know these rocks will set you back some. They don't come cheap." 

"I have 14,000 credits. That should be enough for two of them and for you to keep quiet about us being here." Reys mouth dropped when she heard that number. How did he have that much money?

"Let's look at some rocks, Jedi." 

Gurt lead them to a back room.

The room was shut with thick iron doors. Gurt said he didn't let anyone go near them because of the legends of them springing to life and flying across rooms when certain people got close. He said he wouldn't go in with them because he didn't want any part in whatever ritual that made rocks fly. 

"I'll go first." Both Rey and Ben said in unison. They looked at each other and laughed nervously. 

"You can,"

"Go ahead,"

They said again, in unison. 

Rey laughed and gently reached for his hand, looping her fingers with his. "Together," she said. 

Gurt opened the door from across the room. From that moment on neither Ben nor Rey could explain what happened. Without taking a step into room the two were swept into the chamber and the unmovable doors sealed behind them. First it was darkness that encompassed them... then light. Light of every color swirling around them. Passing so fast they could barely see the truth but she could feel it, kyber crystals. 

"Ben what's happening?" Rey said. 

"I-I don't know," Ben stammered, trying to wrap his around the crystals, "This didn't happen on Ilum." 

Rey quieted her mind to see the crystals clearly... blue, green, purple, white, black... yellow. They were beautiful. The most vibrant, powerful things she had ever seen. She reached her hand out to touch them, reaching into the vortex of stones flying around them. Just before she could touch them, they stopped. 

The stones hovered in place now. They swung gently in the air but he could see them all clearly now. Just as he had experienced on Ilum, their power was overwhelming him. He could feel the force energy radiating off of them and entering him. He could even feel his power returning to him. The crystals were restoring him. 

Ben shut his eyes. Meditating. Just as Luke had instructed him so long ago. Quiet your mind and the crystal will find you. Luke's words echoed in Bens head. Ben breathed in once and out again. He opened his eyes. 

Blue. 

A crystal as blue as the sky hovered in front of his face. A warrior, a protector of justice and righteousness, that is who wields a blue saber. Luke’s teachings rung in his ears. Ben reached out and took hold of the crystal. It had chosen him. 

Ben turned around and saw Rey, still encompassed with Force energy. She turned to face him as well. Bens breath hitched when he saw...

Two crystals floated before her. She was paralyzed by their power. Both crystals danced before her... yellow. A destroyer of evil, protector of light. One who wields a yellow saber will stop at nothing to keep balance in the force. 

Rey's breath shook as she looked at Ben for guidance. "Take them," Ben instructed.

Rey reached out with shaking hands and took a crystal in each. As soon as the sheer energy touched her skin, the force flooded her body in needles. The power of holding two crystals overwhelmed her body. Rey gritted her teeth, willing herself to overcome them and consume their power. 

"Why do I have two?" Rey finally said, gasping for air. 

"Two chose you..." Ben murmured. 

"What does that mean?"

"The Force deemed you worthy of the power of two." 

"And what does yellow mean? I've never seen it before," she held them before her and watched as they shined. 

"You seek evil and destroy it, always chasing light and seeing good in others." 

Rey looked at Ben and smiled, breathing heavily from the experience. She certainly found the good in him. He smiled back. 

"Wait," Rey said, "You only purchased two crystals. We have three." 

A devilish smirk crept onto Bens face, "Put one in your pocket." 

"Ben!" Rey smacked his arm. "Fine. Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed <3 don’t forget to comment!


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